Strangely Familiar: Self-Care (I Kings 19:4-8)

 Ordinary Time

But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, “Arise and eat.” And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. And he ate and drank and lay down again. And the angel of the Lord came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.” And he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mount of God.  (ESV)

            An article in the Los Angeles Times from 2019 named the fact that “self-care” had become a $10 billion industry, including a vast array of pamper kits, chakra stones, self-care retreats, podcasts galore, life coaches, affirmation cards, workshops, and apps for everything from meditation to goal achievement charts.[1]  There are memes and jokes and short-hands and articles pushing the idea that when life is stressful, we need to take some time for self-care.  “Treat yo’self,” runs one of the affirmations, and so self-care becomes a pedicure or a cup of fancy tea or a weekend at the lake, away from it all.

          The industry, it should be noted, very rarely does anything to address what was making us so stressed out in the first place.  Why would it?  Nothing profitable in fixing the problem that requires so many creative solutions.

          Today’s text from the first book of Kings, one of the historically-based chronicles in the Hebrew Bible, is lifted out of a much larger story.  The “he” we meet is the prophet Elijah; just prior to this, he tangled with the court prophets of Ahab and bested them all in a display of power showing that his God, YHWH, was over all gods and that Baal was no match for God’s power.  Ahab and his queen, Jezebel, were furious; Jezebel threatened Elijah’s life and he fled, running not only out of their ruling jurisdiction but even farther, out into the desert.

          The desert is not terribly kind, but it is especially unwelcome when in a headspace like Elijah’s.  He had just pulled off a defeat of the false gods that was worthy of being remembered forever, a decisive victory in the name of the Lord that placed him in the line of prophets as important as Moses himself—and now he was running, terrified for his life, exhausted after days of traveling.

          “It is enough,” he says, flopping down under a broom tree.  “O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.”

          Professor Sara Koenig notes that, “The ‘ancestors’ [or ‘fathers’] have been explained in at least two ways: one, as his dead ancestors, whom he wishes to join in death. Second, the ‘ancestors’ are those in the prophetic vocation, specifically Moses, who also complained in the wilderness and asked the Lord if he could die (Numbers 11:14-15).”[2]

          Elijah had succeeded—and then he had been chased out of his home, and it was too much.  Like Moses before him who led the people out of Egypt and then had to listen to them tell him over and over how much they wanted to go back, it was too much.  Elijah was done fighting; he was done running.  He was done.  Exhausted, he fell asleep.

          “It is in that spirit of helplessness that God sends an angel to sustain Elijah,” writes Professor Roger Nam.  “And that angel ministers to Elijah for forty days and forty nights at Horeb (interchangeable with Mt. Sinai where Moses met God). The angel provides the basic sustenance of food and water, but more importantly, this provision allows space for Elijah to stand still after the frantic flight from Jezebel.”[3]

          Elijah is, at this point, incapable of self-care.  No amount of side hustles or good cups of tea or exfoliating treatments with broom-tree bark or whatever will cure the fact that he is afraid, tired, and feels very alone.  So God sends an angel and the angel says, “Arise and eat.”

          The candy bar Snickers used their Super Bowl commercial spot in 2010 to debut the new tagline “You’re not you when you’re hungry.”[4]  The ads involved famous actors being grouchy in troublesome situations until a friend gave them a Snickers bar and they transformed back into their normal, more pleasant selves.

          While the illustration was funny and has gained a lot of mileage online, there is truth to it.  We who are physical beings do experience emotional and mental shifts when we are hungry as our blood sugar levels drop and our bodies release stress hormones to compensate.[5]  It is such an incredible thing that God, Who at this point had not yet become human, knew that there would be no meaningful conversation with Elijah until he had eaten something, until he had been fed.

          This went on for forty days—eating, sleeping, resting.  It was not glamorous with a meditation app and a color-coded self-care calendar.  It was not flashy and sugar-filled like a candy bar.  It was Elijah and the angel climbing back out of deep grief and depression to the point of suicidal thoughts, one meal and one nap at a time.

          We who follow this faith live in such a strange space; we are filled with hope by the God Who calls us and loves us deeply, dearly, and yet we are also in a world that is exhaustingly broken.  I’ve preached before on the difference between joy—that undercurrent of gladness at the promise and remembrance of God’s goodness—and happiness, the temporary delight in things going well.  Both are important, but there are times in our lives where we have neither happiness nor joy.  There are times when we have run out into the desert when our success went belly-up and we do not know what else to do besides sit beneath a tree and say it is over.

          An incredibly important thing I want us to notice in this short piece of Elijah’s journey is that the angel does not rebuke him.  The angel shows up and doesn’t say anything about how Elijah shouldn’t doubt, or should have more faith, or should smile and then everything will get better, or should get a haircut, or should learn a language, or should take Zumba and get active.  The angel says arise and eat, and then lets him sleep because that is enough, and then they repeat it.  For forty days.

          One of the terrible side effects of self-care culture, that $10 billion industry, is the rise of a thing called “toxic positivity.”  Positivity is nice, sure, but toxic positivity never allows for anything even resembling negativity.  Toxic positivity says, “Just get over it!” and “Never give up!”  It insists on “good vibes only!” and “you’ll get through this!”  It squashes those moments when, whether from biology or whatever else, we are just angry and sad and in need of quite a bit more than a quick bite of a Snickers to recalibrate.  I want to point out the angel’s response to Elijah because there was nothing of toxic positivity; there was only “arise and eat.”

          We here in the 21st century may want to tell ourselves that we are in a much different place than Elijah, but we too are watching battles between God and the things and people who set themselves up to be gods.  We, too, face wondrous achievements that are often followed by crushing defeats we did not see coming.  We, too, may find ourselves running so far that we run out, collapsing in exhaustion, unable to keep going.

          This is okay.

          More than okay, this is human.  This is what it is to live as a person:  not every day is positive.  It is not a failure to come to the end of our tether and realize that no podcast will fix how tired we feel, or how sad we feel, or how disappointed we feel, or how lost we feel.  Sometimes, it is indeed too much and it is time to seek professional help, and that, too, is okay.  But sometimes, it is about looking for the angel saying nothing more than, “Arise, and eat.”

          Take a deep breath.  Feel the way your lungs inflate, your chest rises, your ribs expand.  Who is the angel in your life saying arise, and eat?  Where are you so hungry that you cannot focus on anything else just yet?  It may well be actual food—having a nap and a snack works just as well for adults as it does for toddlers, given that we are the same species with the same biological imperatives.  It may be time—time to sit down and breathe, just breathe without expectation of what comes next.  It may be people—finding the person who makes you feel safe and loved and spending time with them until you feel full again and ready to face the people who make you feel unsafe or unloved.

          Whatever it is, arise, and eat. 

          The next part of this story in 1 Kings is quite famous:  it is the still, small voice after the rushing wind and the swirling fire.  It’s a beautiful image in our Scriptures, a theophany—moment of God’s presence—that is in paintings and poems and calligraphy pieces but it is a moment that Elijah could not do when he first sat under the broom tree.  Professor Nam writes that “with forty days of forced rest and retrospection, Elijah is now ready to encounter God.”[6]

          The journey was too great, before; Elijah could not have withstood the wind and the flame.  But after eating, after resting, after self-care that was not from himself because he was not capable of it and God recognized it and did not think it sinful, Elijah is strong enough.  Now he can be fully present at Horeb, the mount of God—the same mountain where Moses received the Ten Commandments.

          We gather here today to celebrate communion, that sacrament modeled after what we call the Last Supper when Jesus sat with friend and betrayer and said “take, and eat.”  The disciples were not yet as weary as they would become on that long weekend from death to resurrection, but they knew of power that chased and threatened, of success that quickly turned into disappointment.  “Take, and eat,” said Jesus, giving them food enough to be full, giving them hope enough to be filled.

          This is one of two sacraments in The United Methodist Church and every time we celebrate this meal, even when it is over an electronic communication or when the bread is a wafer in plastic packaging, it is remembrance.  It is remembrance of the Christ Who invited in all whom the world threw out; it is remembrance of the Spirit Who guides us when we do not know what to do beyond sitting beneath a broom tree; it is remembrance of the God Who provided an angel who said, “Arise, and eat.”

          As we eat together today, let us remember.  Let us remember the God Who provides, YHWH-jireh,[7] Who never finds fault in us for being as human as we are.  Let us remember that care is important, is necessary, is God-blessed, for all the moments when we are not yet strong enough to go to the mountain.

          May we have the strength to admit when we are worn out; the grace to accept God’s angels who seek to aid us; and the love to see when we are asked to be angel to another, patiently expecting nothing more than that they arise, and eat, for the journey is so great.  Amen.

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